Life

Life

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So it seems I made it to the second post. Phew, that’s a good start!

Like promised in the previous one, I shall tell you a little bit about my life situation. That’s surely what you’re all craving, isn’t it?

No?

Great, let’s get started!

I’ve recently graduated from university after 5-year-long studies in Computer Science. I’ve also worked as a programmer for around 2.5 years now. Long story short, I work for a huge company as a member of developers’ team which creates healthcare software systems. No need to delve too deep into the topic, all I have to say after those over 2 years is that it’s definitely not my dream job and not something I’d like to keep doing for the rest of my life. It’s profitable, yes – even now, soon after graduating from uni. But heaven only knows how bored with it I am already, after what in fact was a rather short time. Currently my goal is to try to become an independent developer rather than staying a tiny element in the huge corporate machine. I’m not sure if coding is what I want to stick to for the rest of my working life, but I feel that a small IT-related business might be the golden mean in my case. If not, I can always requalify after all. I have around 1001 things I’d enjoy doing, although most of them wouldn’t earn me a living. Starting a new business as an average, non-genius young person without a viral idea definitely isn’t a bed of roses. To minimize the risk, I’m currently trying to broaden my mind, learn new things and simply slowly get started with independent development, so that I can release something (and, hopefully, succeed) before I decide to quit my safe but boring job. I don’t want to talk too much about this now, as everything’s only getting started. What I can say is that I’m aiming at indie game development (a right place to be for a gamer, isn’t it?). Indie, in a full meaning of that word. I don’t want to end up as a small piece of near to none significance in a bigger company, even if it’s actually not that big and only has like 100 employees. That’s like 95 too many.
The important point of this paragraph is that I can proudly say: all the listed above thoughts have already made their way into the daylight. For once I’m not just whining, but I’m actually doing things. I’m learning good techniques of game development (building a game – classic PC platformer that I hope to release next year) and at the same time I’m committed to making two other games along with a friend of mine, this time in VR technology. And, to be honest, I truly believe in this cooperation and hope to go places with it.

Enough of that rumbling on boring programming stuff.

Although my career isn’t perfect, it’s actually progressing towards a better point. Unlike some other parts of my life.

A few days into this year me and my (now ex-)boyfriend split up after 3 years in a relationship. It happens to thousands of couples every day, I know. People say time heals the wounds and I suppose it’s true, although I kinda wish the time was a bit faster with its treatment. It’s not just the break-up that hurts so badly after all this time I guess… It happened that at the beginning of my uni journey I joined a group of people who had already been friends for quite a while. Not deliberately, that’s just how it went. For various reasons I kinda split ways with my old school friends as none of them decided to choose my path and I had to build a group of friendly people in my new environment. My ex boyfriend also belonged to that same group, that’s how we met. However, after our break-up (which happened to be almost at the very end of my uni career), it was only natural that he’d stay with the group of friends he’d had way before he met me. And that whole thing resulted in me losing contact with all of them (‘we can break up and stay friends’… sure happened…). So I’m now left with a university degree and almost no social connections. Hurray!

Joking.

Nothing to be happy with, really.

I was lucky enough to make a few internet friends though, and those relationships have slowly started to grow into strong, hopefully long-lasting, real life bonds.

The third issue that’s bothering me is that for years now I’ve been dreaming of moving abroad. Doing it has never been easier than it is now, after I’ve lost my relationship and most of my ‘friends’. The one and only thing keeping me in my hometown is my family that I know I’m gonna miss extremely bad when I choose to move far away.

Now on the positive note, so that the entire post doesn’t sound like an obituary of Alphe and her life.

I finally have time to develop myself, something I could never fully commit to. I’ve time to bake different goodies, time to play games I love, time to work out and cook healthy food to compensate for the baked blessings and time to learn new things. And all those things make me unbelievably happy.

So this is the starting point. Graduating from university came unexpectedly fast (or 5 years weren’t enough for me to get prepared for that moment) and real adulthood came striking. I don’t fully know where I want to go from here, but I know I need to do more of the things that make me happy and maybe try to work for my future happiness instead of staying stuck in a position I don’t fully enjoy. It’s a bit too early for New Year’s resolutions, but I already know I’ll do my best and try to move my life back on the right track from what currently seems to be a colliding course.

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11 thoughts on “Life

  1. Sorry to hear about your breakup. Although on the positive side, hearing about you pursuing your dream is awesome. How you left your job to do so is brave and encouraging. I’ve always wanted to make a game, but I was more of a storyboard kind of person. I even wrote a 3 page paper and mailed it in to a gaming company when I was 12. Someone actually wrote me back with an official letter head, turning my idea down. Lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That was actually very nice of that company, I suppose! I mean, sure, they turned down your idea, but they at least replied. I can’t even count how many times my child(teenage)hood letters to companies went into void and never got any form of reply…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s what I said too! I don’t know if it was a mailroom clerk or an actual storyboard person who mail me back, but it was really exciting to hear back from them. I cherish that moment. What games are you into and what genre of game are you creating?

        Like

      2. I honestly play tons of different games, from MOBAs like League of Legends, through MMOs like Guild Wars 2 and indie puzzle games to various small productions from pretty much all genres.
        I’m currently working on two games: my personal one is like a classic 2D platformer, so involves a lot of jumping, fighting, climbing and collecting items with a slight puzzle touch. The second thing, which I’m working on along with my friend, are VR games compatible with mobile devices. The bigger one we’d like released within a bit less than a year from now will be a spooky game with (hopefully) nice storyline & monsters to fight πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Thanks a lot for the encouragement! I’ll definitely write an update when things get far enough, there’s a long way to go when you start from absolute scratch, including knowledge and experience, but the progress so far has been promising πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I know what it takes when it comes to creating a game. I went as far as assembling a team of random people to make one about 3 years back. It all fell apart once we met with an former representive of EA Games who wanted to steer us to mobile applications and wanted us to create something like Angry Birds. He didn’t see any future in 16-bit rpg style gaming, regardless of the consensus I took amongst other gamers. There is a lot to learn and master behind the scenes to gaming and I think you have a critical piece to the puzzle in yourself which is programming. I’m almost certain of your success. You just have to put in the work ☺

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I guess it happens a lot to people our age huh? I’m 24, and am kinda struggling with loneliness as my friends — as we graduate from college and started walking our own path — are starting to distance themselves from me. Not their fault though, we all have to take care of ourselves in this cold, harsh world.

    But I do try my best to hang on to what’s hanging! And it’s good to know that I still can open up and learn to make new friends, nothing emotionally attached, just someone to pass the time with.

    I hope things got figured out for you soon! πŸ™‚

    Like

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